All three states occur unconsciously in communication and behavior
Posted: Mon Jan 06, 2025 3:47 am
The adult ego is a stark contrast to this. It is the ultimate prerequisite for respectful, appreciative and objective communication between people who are adults. The interaction is constructive. Colleagues are viewed as equals and treated as such. People who are in the state of the adult ego know their options for action. They actively influence situations and make full use of their potential because they make decisions. They are not trapped in the experience of the situation, but rather they change it. All decisions are made based on information that is drawn from the three ego states simultaneously. If a manager communicates with such an employee, he will have an attentive listener and a reflective speaker in front of him.
The childhood self contains the helplessness of the first five years of a child's life. At telecommunications email list this age, every child not only clearly perceives the rules and statements of their parents, but also collects feelings and impressions. At the beginning of their life, a child initially feels that they are not fully capable and therefore not OK. This is clearly visible in defiant behavior that an adult would find silly. This usually happens spontaneously and the consequences are not considered. People just bluster away. But employees who approach their work creatively, inquisitively and curiously are also in the childhood self. The imaginative approach to work is also a key factor in this.
We usually do not notice which state is currently determining our communication.
In everyday working life, the acoustics and facial expressions in dealing with colleagues and superiors play a major role for every employee. If, for example, someone asks for an email to be forwarded and this is done in an irritated, reproachful tone with arms crossed, a manager can assume that this person is in their parent self. They assume that they must know that they need this email in order to do their work. If the same request is made in a matter-of-fact tone with a completely normal voice, it is simply a reminder based on the adult self. If an employee who seems completely unsure with big, childlike eyes stands in front of the superior and asks almost submissively for the email to be forwarded, the basis is the child self. This employee is not sure whether they are even allowed to ask for the email to be forwarded. Their voice is therefore rather brittle.
The childhood self contains the helplessness of the first five years of a child's life. At telecommunications email list this age, every child not only clearly perceives the rules and statements of their parents, but also collects feelings and impressions. At the beginning of their life, a child initially feels that they are not fully capable and therefore not OK. This is clearly visible in defiant behavior that an adult would find silly. This usually happens spontaneously and the consequences are not considered. People just bluster away. But employees who approach their work creatively, inquisitively and curiously are also in the childhood self. The imaginative approach to work is also a key factor in this.
We usually do not notice which state is currently determining our communication.
In everyday working life, the acoustics and facial expressions in dealing with colleagues and superiors play a major role for every employee. If, for example, someone asks for an email to be forwarded and this is done in an irritated, reproachful tone with arms crossed, a manager can assume that this person is in their parent self. They assume that they must know that they need this email in order to do their work. If the same request is made in a matter-of-fact tone with a completely normal voice, it is simply a reminder based on the adult self. If an employee who seems completely unsure with big, childlike eyes stands in front of the superior and asks almost submissively for the email to be forwarded, the basis is the child self. This employee is not sure whether they are even allowed to ask for the email to be forwarded. Their voice is therefore rather brittle.